How to Better Live With Your In-Laws: Tug-of-War

Tug of warIn the last post, we began looking at how to better live with your in-laws. When you get married, in-laws are part of the package. There can can be some really good things about your in-laws, and there can be some really difficult things about your in-laws. Unfortunately, you get both. It’s a package deal.

Marriage initiates two new tensions into your life. Each of these tensions is like an internal tug-of-war that you can’t avoid. Let’s look at the two primary areas where you’ll feel this tug-of-war. [Read more...]


How to Better Live With Your In-Laws

Happy African Family“Meet the Parents” is a movie that looks at learning to accept and be accepted by future in-laws.  The movie is funny at times, awkward at times and down right painful at times.  Hopefully your experience with in-laws has been better.

When my wife and I announced to her parents we were getting married, (yeah, I know…we should have asked rather than announce) they were not overjoyed. [Read more...]



Three colored plastic cups with sphere. Right choiceSome of the best marriage advice I’ve ever received came from Jerry Garcia of The Grateful Dead. (For those who don’t know, The Grateful Dead is a psychedelic rock band that came to fame in the midst of the drug culture of the 60’s.) In Garcia’s self-titled 1972 solo album, a song entitled “Deal” contained the following lyric…

“Since it costs a lot to win, and even more to lose, you and me got to spend some time wondering what to choose.”

When you apply this line to marriage, it’s some of the best advice you’ll find, because it reminds us… [Read more...]


The Great Pyramid of Marriage

Giza pyramids, cairo, egyptEveryone goes into their wedding ceremony expecting to spend the rest of their life with the person standing next to them. They stand before the minister with heart pounding and knees knocking, believing their marriage will last forever…like the pyramids.

But we know this is not always the case. Too many marriages crumble and fall apart, so what can we do to build a marriage that will last? How can we build a marriage that will stand the test of time…like  the pyramids? [Read more...]


Marital Climate Change

Climate ChangeIs climate change affecting your marriage?

These days, the subject of climate change is all over the media. Though there are differing opinions on the subject, one thing is for sure. Marital climate change is real. [Read more...]


Are You Keeping Your Spouse as a Pet?

Dog foodWhen it comes to marriage, there are some things you just don’t say…that is if you want a long happy life. Things like: “Gee honey, those jeans really do make you look fat.” “I told my dad there were some things you really could learn from him.” “I don’t think your cooking will be ever be as good as my mom’s.” You just don’t say things like that in a marriage, unless you’re ready to lose both a spouse and a limb. [Read more...]


It Isn’t My Anniversary, Is It?

Shock at the calendarIt’s the thing sitcoms are made of. Out of the blue, your spouse approaches you with a gift, a big hug, and an “I love you!” Hesitantly you say, Thank you,” all the while wondering, “It isn’t my anniversary, is it?”

Even if this has never happened to you, I bet you can imagine it. That feeling of being caught off guard. That feeling that maybe you missed something. Where does this kind of panic come from?

I started thinking about this after making a recent post to Facebook. [Read more...]


Your Marriage Needs More Drive Through

Drive thru road signWhen I say your marriage needs more drive through, I’m not saying your marriage needs more fast food take out orders. (Although, how cool would it be if you could improve your marriage with more fast food?)

No, I’m talking about conversation. Now don’t roll your eyes and say, “Not another post that tells me I’m supposed to emotionally open up and share my deepest feelings with my spouse!” That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about something simple and easy. Not a complete 4 course meal at some fancy restaurant. Just drive-through. [Read more...]


Little Things Mean A Lot – Encouragement

photoQuestion: How do you know if a person needs encouragement? Answer: If they’re breathing. In other words, everyone needs encouragement. Young or old. Rich or poor. Famous or unknown. Introvert or extrovert. If a person is  breathing, they need encouragement.

This goes for your spouse. If they’re breathing…and hopefully they are…they need encouragement. [Read more...]


How Is Marriage Like Facebook, Makeup, and Toothpaste?

Four Quadrants graphic no linesHere’s a marriage riddle for you. (As if marriage wasn’t perplexing enough.) How is marriage like Facebook, makeup, and toothpaste? And the answer is not that both spouses need better profiles, wife’s need to use more makeup, and husbands need to use more toothpaste.

To find the answer, think about this. When people first start using Facebook they work hard to get the right profile and pictures on their page. They think through what to post and what not to post. They carefully craft each post, knowing that others will be reading it. [Read more...]