What I’ve Learned About Marriage From Buying a House – Part 4

Let me just cut to the chase here. One of the things I’ve learned from this house buying experience is that if you want to get from the house you have to the house you want…it’s going to cost you.

Certainly there’s the cost of the new mortgage, but there’s also expenses like fees, repairs to your current house, appliances for the new house, and moving expenses. Then there’s the amount of time and energy you have to spend. All this can easily cause you to loose site of the ultimate goal…to get to a better place. [Read more…]


What I’ve Learned About Marriage From Buying a House – Part 3

Have you ever had a total stranger hand you a list of things they believed needed to be changed about something really personal to you? That’s what a home inspection list is.

I niavely thought it would be smooth sailing after the contract was signed. After all, we had a buyer who wanted the house enough to sign a contract. “We’re there!” I thought. But there was more for me to learn. [Read more…]


What I’ve Learned About Marriage From Buying a House – Part 2


Remember the first time you saw your spouse’s eyes light up? Maybe it was the first time you gave them a special gift or picked them up unexpectedly. Maybe it was when you got engaged or when you saw each other on your wedding day. Maybe it was the first holiday you spent together. Maybe it was when you found out you were having a baby or when you got your first glimpse of that baby.

Now, when’s the last time you saw your spouse’s eye light up? If it’s been a while, maybe you should ask yourself why it’s been that long. [Read more…]


What I’ve Learned About Marriage From Buying a House – Part 1

My wife and I are in the process of selling our current house and buying a new one. (It’s a big deal to us since it’s probably the last house we’ll own before our kids put us in the nursing home.) It’s a daunting process. Since we’ve been in our current house for twenty years, the process of selling it and buying another feels a little overwhelming. [Read more…]


Counting Pennies

stack of penniesIn some marriages, “counting pennies” means being very frugal and saving every penny you get. But in other marriages, “counting pennies” means turning over sofa cushions to find enough change to get the bills paid.

I looked back over the last year of blog posts and realized I have not written any posts on marriage and money management. Maybe that’s because, unlike other areas of marriage that come fairly easy, money management is an area of marriage that’s never really come natural to me. (My wife is the financial strength in our marriage.)

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve always been able to pay our bills, meet our obligations, and even save some money, but it just doesn’t come as natural as other things.

I remember where we really started to learn about managing money. [Read more…]


Understand What Your Spouse Is Not Saying

friendIf you’ve read my blog, you know I caution spouses about trying to read each other’s mind.

But then my wife took me away for a few days on a surprise trip to North Carolina. (That’s right! She made the plans, told me what to pack, and then said, “Drive.” It was wonderful! I owe her big time.) Any way, back to the story… [Read more…]


Little Things Mean A Lot – Honesty

Dishonest LiarDoes the following exchange sound familiar to you? (Please say it doesn’t just happen in my marriage!)

Spouse  1: “Where do you want to eat?”

Spouse 2: “I don’t care. We can go anywhere.” [Read more…]


What’s A Good Marriage Look Like?

Depositphotos_19059467_xsWhat’s a good marriage look like? Even if we don’t ask this question out loud, we all wonder what a good marriage really looks like. Maybe you have your own ideas about what a good marriage looks like. When you think about a good marriage, maybe you picture a husband and wife… [Read more…]


Marriage Is Like Baseball

Depositphotos_21949135_xsI often tell couples that marriage is like baseball. The key is knowing which pitches to swing at and which pitches to let go by. Others have said the key to marriage is figuring out which hills are too small to die on. However you describe it, there are times in marriage when you have to determine…is this something I should try to change or is this something I should learn to live with?”

In a podcast entitled “Managing Tension,” Andy Stanley talks about determining the difference between a problem to be solved and a tension to be managed. He is speaking to leaders of organizations, but I believe the concept is also applicable to spouses in marriage. [Read more…]


Are You Listening To Me?

Attractive Woman Listening to Her BoyfriendHave you ever been in a conversation with your spouse and you zoned out, only to wake up to these words, “Are you listening to me?” Or maybe you were in a heated discussion where you were graciously sharing the benefit of your knowledge with your spouse, only to have them interrupt you and say, “Are you listening to me?” [Read more…]