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What’s A Good Marriage Look Like?

Depositphotos_19059467_xsWhat’s a good marriage look like? Even if we don’t ask this question out loud, we all wonder what a good marriage really looks like. Maybe you have your own ideas about what a good marriage looks like. When you think about a good marriage, maybe you picture a husband and wife… [Read more…]

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Marriage Is Like Baseball

Depositphotos_21949135_xsI often tell couples that marriage is like baseball. The key is knowing which pitches to swing at and which pitches to let go by. Others have said the key to marriage is figuring out which hills are too small to die on. However you describe it, there are times in marriage when you have to determine…is this something I should try to change or is this something I should learn to live with?”

In a podcast entitled “Managing Tension,” Andy Stanley talks about determining the difference between a problem to be solved and a tension to be managed. He is speaking to leaders of organizations, but I believe the concept is also applicable to spouses in marriage. [Read more…]

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Are You Listening To Me?

Attractive Woman Listening to Her BoyfriendHave you ever been in a conversation with your spouse and you zoned out, only to wake up to these words, “Are you listening to me?” Or maybe you were in a heated discussion where you were graciously sharing the benefit of your knowledge with your spouse, only to have them interrupt you and say, “Are you listening to me?” [Read more…]

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Dissatisfaction in Marriage

DissatisfactionTo be married is to know dissatisfaction. That statement will probably get me in trouble, but it’s true. You can’t live with someone who is different than you and not experience some dissatisfaction. Your spouse won’t make the same decisions you would make. They will correct you at times. Their priorities will be different than yours. You won’t like all their habits and quirks. No matter how great your spouse might be, being married to them will bring a certain amount of dissatisfaction. [Read more…]

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Remember Why You’re Married

Happy couple with photo albumUnless you’re a newlywed, you know how easy it is to let the demands, stresses, and frustrations of life crowd out the things that brought you together in the first place. It’s subtle at first, but eventually these things can take a marriage to dull distance at best and disappointing finality at worst.

But there’s something you can do to hit the refresh button on your marriage. It’s not expensive counseling, and it’s not an awkward marriage retreat. It’s simple, it’s easy, it doesn’t cost anything, and it will remind you why you got married in the first place. [Read more…]

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The Valentines Day That Never Was

disappointed asian woman with empty red gift boxValentines Day is over. But for my wife and me, it it was the Valentines Day that never was. More on that in a minute.

Reactions to Valentines day can be mixed and varied. Some look forward to the special attention. Some dread the pressure of trying to come up with something special. Some look forward to the sexual expectations. Some dread the sexual expectations. In short, Valentines Day can be a mixed bag. [Read more…]

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Little Things

Fastening Her NecklaceEvery so often, I run a post on Normal Marriage that starts with these words…”Little things mean a lot.” I do this because it’s really easy to focus on the big things in marriage (communication, conflict, sex, etc.) and forget that the little things are just as important…if not more so. [Read more…]

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Schedule Times for Sex

do not disturbTwo weeks ago we talked about making an appointment to spend time with your spouse. Last week we talked about scheduling dates with your spouse. This week we talk about scheduling times for sex with your spouse.

Now I am not talking about making sex as mundane or routine as taking out the trash every Tuesday night. I’m talking about giving sex with your spouse the time and attention it deserves and needs.

Marital satisfaction is affected by sexual satisfaction. Most married couples know this instinctively, but still tend to resist scheduling times from sex. Here are some of the things I’ve heard from couples when it comes to scheduling times for sex… [Read more…]

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Make an Appointment to Date Your Spouse

Lovely interracial couple having lunchIn my last Normal Marriage post, I said I would follow it up with a post on why spouses should make an appointment for sex. I’m pushing that post back one week so we can first talk about the need to make an appointment to date your spouse.

When you and your spouse first met, date night was the highlight of your week. But once you were engaged, going home at the end of the date was frustrating. You were ready to be married so you didn’t have to date anymore. Now that you’re married, you see each other all the time. So why schedule dates? [Read more…]

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Make an Appointment

Save the Date Words Circled on Calendar Red MarkerIs your marriage crazy busy? Even if it’s not, you need to make an appointment to spend time with your spouse and family.

The other day, my eight-year-old granddaughter called me at work. When I answered the phone, I heard her bright and chipper voice say, “Hello Poppy!” After I said hello back, she got straight to the point of her call. “I need to talk to you,” she said. I was a little taken aback by her abruptness. After a second or two of silence, I said, “OK.” Then she bluntly said, “So when can I talk to you?” [Read more…]