To be married is to know dissatisfaction. That statement will probably get me in trouble, but it’s true. You can’t live with someone who is different than you and not experience some dissatisfaction. Your spouse won’t make the same decisions you would make. They will correct you at times. Their priorities will be different than yours. You won’t like all their habits and quirks. No matter how great your spouse might be, being married to them will bring a certain amount of dissatisfaction. [Read more…]
Unless you’re a newlywed, you know how easy it is to let the demands, stresses, and frustrations of life crowd out the things that brought you together in the first place. It’s subtle at first, but eventually these things can take a marriage to dull distance at best and disappointing finality at worst.
But there’s something you can do to hit the refresh button on your marriage. It’s not expensive counseling, and it’s not an awkward marriage retreat. It’s simple, it’s easy, it doesn’t cost anything, and it will remind you why you got married in the first place. [Read more…]
Reactions to Valentines day can be mixed and varied. Some look forward to the special attention. Some dread the pressure of trying to come up with something special. Some look forward to the sexual expectations. Some dread the sexual expectations. In short, Valentines Day can be a mixed bag. [Read more…]
Every so often, I run a post on Normal Marriage that starts with these words…”Little things mean a lot.” I do this because it’s really easy to focus on the big things in marriage (communication, conflict, sex, etc.) and forget that the little things are just as important…if not more so. [Read more…]
Two weeks ago we talked about making an appointment to spend time with your spouse. Last week we talked about scheduling dates with your spouse. This week we talk about scheduling times for sex with your spouse.
Now I am not talking about making sex as mundane or routine as taking out the trash every Tuesday night. I’m talking about giving sex with your spouse the time and attention it deserves and needs.
Marital satisfaction is affected by sexual satisfaction. Most married couples know this instinctively, but still tend to resist scheduling times from sex. Here are some of the things I’ve heard from couples when it comes to scheduling times for sex… [Read more…]
In my last Normal Marriage post, I said I would follow it up with a post on why spouses should make an appointment for sex. I’m pushing that post back one week so we can first talk about the need to make an appointment to date your spouse.
When you and your spouse first met, date night was the highlight of your week. But once you were engaged, going home at the end of the date was frustrating. You were ready to be married so you didn’t have to date anymore. Now that you’re married, you see each other all the time. So why schedule dates? [Read more…]
The other day, my eight-year-old granddaughter called me at work. When I answered the phone, I heard her bright and chipper voice say, “Hello Poppy!” After I said hello back, she got straight to the point of her call. “I need to talk to you,” she said. I was a little taken aback by her abruptness. After a second or two of silence, I said, “OK.” Then she bluntly said, “So when can I talk to you?” [Read more…]
You may not care what brand of computer you use. You may not even care about computers in general, but if you’re married you do need to care about being more user friendly. [Read more…]
What if a better marriage didn’t demand a major over-haul? What if you could have a better marriage by making small changes?
I believe that small changes can have a big impact in marriage. Think about it this way…if a plane leaving L.A. for N.Y changes it’s course by just a degree or two, it will end up in a completely different part of the world! Small changes can be very powerful. [Read more…]
We’re just a few days away from Christmas, and perhaps you’re still out there scrounging to find that last-minute perfect gift for someone.
Finding the right gift for that right person seems to come naturally for some. But for many of us, we struggle with finding the right gift. We wonder…”What if they don’t like it?” “What if it’s the wrong size.” “What if they already have one?” After all, none of us wants to give a gift that will later surface at some white elephant, gag-gift exchange!
So back to the question. Is there something we can give that we can be confident will be the right gift every time? I think there is. [Read more…]