Marriages need magic moments. (I know that sounds like a Cialis or Viagra commercial, but stay with me.)
If I asked you, “What are the magic moments in your marriage?” how would you answer? Would you talk about your wedding day? Your honeymoon? The birth of a child? Unexpected blessings? Tragedy narrowly averted? A special vacation? The birth of grandchildren? Retirement?
These are the things we typically think about when we think of magic moments in marriage, but these are too few and too far between. What if it were in your power to create magic moments in your marriage more frequently and more regularly?
This dawned on me while listening to a TED talk by Jarrett Krosoczka entitled, “How a Boy Became an Artist.” (I encourage you to click on the link and listen to his talk. It’s really good.) Jarrett is a best selling children’s book author and illustrator, but as a young boy he didn’t know his father and his mother was a drug addict who was often incarcerated. In his talk, Jarrett spoke about various moments that changed the course of his life.
There was a time when a children’s book author came to his elementary school and asked each child in the class to draw a picture. As the author walked silently up and down the rows of desks, he stopped at Jarrett’s desk and tapped on his paper. “Nice Cat!” he said. Just two words, but those two words fueled something deep within Jarrett.
There was another time in high school when Jarrett was drawing funny pictures of his teacher and was called out into the hall for disrupting the class. His teacher asked to see the paper. Jarrett fearfully handed him the paper, dreading the punishment that was to come. After a moment of silence, Jarrett’s teacher looked down at him and said, “You’re really talented!” The teacher connected Jarrett with another teacher, and Jarrett became the cartoonist for the school newspaper. And it all started with three words.
Jarrett’s life was shaped and changed by brief encounters of just a few seconds and just a few words.
I believe the same can happen in marriage. Think of all the opportunities you have to take just a few seconds and speak just a few words of encouragement into your spouse. Simple things like…
- “I really love you.”
- “I believe in you.”
- “You’re gifted in this.”
- “I’m glad I get to do life with you.”
- “Great job!”
- “I think you’re awesome”
- “I know it’s been a hard day, but I want you to know I appreciate how hard you work for us.”
If a few seconds and a few words could change a kid from a broken home into award winning author and illustrator, imagine how your spouse’s life could change if you took a few seconds and a few words each day to were create similar magic moments in marriage.
If you’ve not been doing this, it may feel awkward at first. Your spouse may even wonder what you’re up to and what you want. But you can do this. You already do this if you have kids, and don’t you think your spouse could benefit from the same encouragement you give your kids?
So take just a few seconds and a few words every day to create magic moments for your spouse. It may not produce an award-winning children’s author and illustrator, but it may produce a better spouse and a better marriage.
Make it your goal to create one magic moment each day for your spouse, and watch what a difference it makes.
Copyright © 2017 Bret Legg