Let me just cut to the chase here. One of the things I’ve learned from this house buying experience is that if you want to get from the house you have to the house you want…it’s going to cost you.
Certainly there’s the cost of the new mortgage, but there’s also expenses like fees, repairs to your current house, appliances for the new house, and moving expenses. Then there’s the amount of time and energy you have to spend. All this can easily cause you to loose site of the ultimate goal…to get to a better place.
The same can be said of marriage. What I’ve learned about marriage from buying a house is…It will cost you something to move from the marriage you have to the marriage you want. To get to a better marriage, you will have to pay the price of…
- Time – Time is in short supply for everyone in marriage. There are so many demands on our time. There’s work, kids, the house, the yard, church, sports, recreation, etc. The reason we put so much time into these things is because we want them to be the best they can be. We want our marriage to be the best it can be also, but too often, our marriage gets what’s left-over of our time. We expect marriage to run on auto pilot while we spend time with everything else. But getting your marriage to where you want it to be requires just as much time and attention as anything else.
- Effort – So often we think marriage should be effortless. We think our marriage should “just work,” and if it doesn’t “just work” we think there must be something wrong with our marriage…or our spouse. But good marriages don’t just work. Good marriages require work. Anyone who owns a business knows that you have to put a lot of continual effort into that business to make it successful. Why wouldn’t you have to do the same thing when it comes to the business of marriage?
- Sacrifice – If you’re a parent, you sacrifice a lot for your children. You sacrifice your money, your time, the things you want, even some of your dreams. You make these sacrifices so that your children can have the best chance to succeed. In short, their success means more to you than your success. If you want to move to a better marriage, you have to make the same kind of sacrifices in order to see your marriage succeed. The success of your marriage must mean more to you than your own success.
I have to admit, there have been times in the house buying process where the expenses were mounting and I would wonder, “Do I really want to pay this much? Wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper to not pursue this any longer?” But the thing that kept me pressing on was picturing my wife, happy in a new house.
The same can happen in marriage. You can find yourself thinking, “Is this really worth it? Is it really worth all the effort?” But if you keep the picture of what it would look like to be living with your spouse in a better marriage, it will give you the ability to assume the cost and push forward.
Remember…anything of value will cost you. And that includes marriage. So pay the price to get from the marriage you have to the marriage you want. After all, you get what you pay for.
Leave a comment and tell us what you think is one of the “costs” of a great marriage.
Copyright © 2015 Bret Legg